To seek Your face

Poetry by: Lee Macqueen


My relationship with you is undefined,

Indescribable, intimate and infinite,

You know of my love I bear for you,

That which is limitless and beyond efforts to express;

People ask for signs and proofs from me,

Proofs and signs of my unwavering faith in you;

Only if faith could ever be explained, I would still have done so,

Yet I know I need not prove anything between us to anyone, anymore.

You are aware of my madness, my restlessness and craving for You,

the ever growing urge to be known through You;

You alone know of my thirst for You for my being lies in You;

to touch, feel and caress you and be embraced by you.

My desire is just this in You,

To seek your face every first light, and breathe my last in You;

To reside with You in the room prepared for me by You;

And live every age with You.

Picture courtesy: sldunn.wordpress.com 

Yearning for a friend

Leisa, a girl of my age, timid, introvert, over disciplined, image conscious, driven by a sturdy inferiority complex and oblivious of the world around, is today, a fairly well informed adult, mentally strong and confident. She is doing well in her career and is very ambitious and focused. She has a past which luckily most of us have, if not all, that of her school, the days, which are cherished to the life time. Leisa has settled in her life, with a satisfying career, and has nearly received all that she could have dreamt, if she could. She thinks she is the odd one in her virtual ‘friend circle’. I say ‘virtual’ because she actually has no ‘gang of friends’. In fact, not even a single one whom she can count on as a close friend from ‘school days’, the ‘langotia yaar’ (childhood best pals).

Leisa became ‘a part’ of some group of 4-5 friends only when was in the high school, because of the same stream batch of students in 11^th and 12^th grade. She was crazy enough to yearn for one close friend for whom she would be a priority. I feel her obsession for such a friend, to whom she would matter most, and the wish to possess this one friend, was not well placed in her case. Because of this insecurity which burgeoned out of various reasons and her modest background, she often laments for being alone, and friendless. Given the dullness of her lifestyle and highly constrained childhood led to a giant inferiority complex in her. She recalls how she was a perpetual misfit among others. She states that there was nothing in her, which could make her desirable of others’ friendship. Resultantly, she avoided visiting her friends’ house for the apprehension that she too would have to call them home, which was highly unlike their little mansions. Not that she did not have friends, but in none she found a truly close friend, who could make her feel welcome and always needed. Yet, she did try to be in touch with one or two, who in turn never perhaps considered her a valued friend.

So as I mentioned, her background, perhaps, never allowed her to transcend the invisible fences propped up by the ‘wealth and riches’. All that she had with her were the dream and aspirations of her parents from her, and the realisation that the situation could change only with her being economically sound. This realisation was so deeply entrenched in her psyche that she could never live a life of her age. The virtual load of responsibilities towards the family was always there. Never did she bunk school, miss her classes, make male friends, trouble her teachers, attend the conti-parties that were organised by girls themselves, practice any ill for the sake of trying it out, brake rules, and do all those crazy things that normally girls at that age would atleast want to try out for the sake of adventure and fun.  The self assumed responsibilities outweighed any other desire but to target only education and a job, soon after that.

Leisa was fortunate that despite pecuniary hurdles almost throughout their lives, her parents decided to give her the best of education, which included even university education. Leisa today is an epitome of the nearly fulfilled dreams of her parents and indeed feels satisfied of being a good daughter and a fine sensitive human being.

It’s not that Leisa regrets what she is today, but somewhere, while moving back and forth in her recollections of those days, she grieves the fact that she is alone without any friend. As I mentioned at the outset, she was the odd one because in every respect she finds a stark contrast between others and herself. Leisa remembers how she used to be excluded from participating in such programmes organised by students themselves on teachers’ day and other such occasions. The selection used to be done by classmates among themselves, where they would select the ‘more outgoing and confident’ ones, who by default turned out to be the well-off ones.

Sometimes, when she views her so called friends on social networking sites, she sees herself grossly missing from the list of tagged friends in old school pictures. This makes her think how she is just no one for anyone. Her presence or absence never matters to anyone. She is alone, and craves for a friend.

She is doing fairly well in her life, and is blessed with people around her to make her realise the worth of being a ‘self-made’ girl, and better that she was not born with a silver spoon. Nonetheless, the consolation doesn’t help her much in reducing the agony of the fact that she is ‘peer-less’.

Many may think that Leisa is perhaps irrational and over demanding, but I empathise with her. We would normally befriend and want to acquaint ourselves with people of rich social background, but seldom do we make friends with seemingly ‘simple’ and people of ‘modest backgrounds’. While the quiet ones have to make efforts to make themselves noticed by others, those that are articulate and socially well positioned, end up being approached by the majority. This is a reality, and people like Leisa need to still continue being unconditional in their human dealings and move ahead in life with all lessons that life teaches.

I am happy to hear from her that she is a much stronger and independent individual, with a mind of her own and does not shy away from venting out her grief in private over the scrambled memories of what she desired and could not get. At this point, I shared with her about my friend, whom she also has in her life, that one person, who is more precious and valuable than anything and everything in the world, who never forsakes, and loves unconditionally. For Him, we are special, and a priority. Human relations are bound to come to an end, but His relationship with us never dies. In fact, He alone has helped her move up in life and given her all that she has asked and even silently desired. I think, she has now realised the worth of this friend, and promised me of never crying over what she doesn’t have, but to be thankful of what she has in abundance, which no human could ever give her, never!

Picture Courtesy: flywithdreams23.blogspot.com   

Who is my neighbour?

As a Christian kid, the teachings of Bible, more so Jesus, formed the premise of my childhood. The Ten Commandments are most revered basic precepts besides the prayer of the Lord known to Christians. I have always been a proud girl for being born in a religion which gives me the best teachings to become good human being first, so that my Christian values and virtues speak for themselves when I venture out in a human society, which is otherwise full of all sorts of virtuous and wicked things.

Now, I see two types of 'followers' of religion. One, those who understand the teachings,
internalise them, and follow the ‘Do no Harm’ approach to mankind, both for the
love and fear of God. Such people’s acts reflect the goodness of their values 
and teachings, and for them, every human being is made in the image of God and
 thus commands respect. Two, people who internalise and interpret the religious
 teaching in such a way (pleasing in their own sight) that they become 
destructive and fundamentalists, carrying out homicidal ‘crusades’. Religious 
scriptures will be ruthlessly invoked to justify horrendous acts and support such notions as disliking
 the other and even hating people of other religions, because our religion is the best!

Jesus reinforced that 'You shall love your neighbour as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these" (Mark 12:28-31). Who is my neighbour? I ask this to myself as I try to deepen my knowledge of the teachings of Christianity. This article does not intend to convince people of any contradictory views, but these are just few thoughts that have stimulating my quest o know what exactly God wants.

Normally, a ‘brother’ and a ‘neighbour’ is perceived and preached to be anyone belonging to the same faith, and not just our immediate brothers and sisters of blood relations. Now, whenever, I read such passages, I keep wondering whether people of other religions should be covered under the definition attached to it by religious preachers. I am sure that God would not have differentiated between human beings, whom He created in His own image. How then can I reconcile myself to the fact that only same faith people can be brothers and sisters, and that ‘others’ should be despised and discriminated for they follow different faith.

By this teaching of Jesus, I would certainly love to believe that He means to include all mankind - even our enemies! Jesus tells His famous parable of the Good Samaritan to make it clear that "love your neighbour" means to love all persons, everywhere - not just our friends, allies, countrymen. Then why do we consider different faith people as not worthy of our love, compassion, unity and congregation? Why do religions never encourage talks about the intermixing of the good values and teachings of all religions, while one still would maintain one’s own faith throughout the life? Why in interfaith relationship there is always a ‘mandate’ of conversion? Is this really what God has sent out His people to do to others? Is not Faith that comes from within (or doesn’t even come from the core) forming the basis of one’s religious or non-religious identity? Have we forgotten that the greatest law and commandment of the God is ‘Love’?

In order to maintain strict divisions and differences, the religious teachers tend to erode the basic values of love, friendship, forgiveness, tolerance, brotherhood, harmony and mutual peaceful existence on this earth, which certainly exists beyond common faith people. Rather, a fear is planted in the hearts of people that if they go against the literal words of religious texts, they would be doomed and abandoned by God, as if God also functions and behaves like us on earth.

The Bible tells (Matthew 5:43-48) that Jesus instructs his disciples to love their enemies, and pray for those who persecute them, which will qualify them to be the children of heavenly Father, for He makes His sun rise on the bad and the good, and causes rain to fall on the just and the unjust. He firmly warns in His humble preaching that if we love those who love us, what rewards can we claim from the heavenly Father? And if we greet our brothers and sisters only, what is unusual about that, for even the non believers do that. He calls us to be perfect in our heavenly Father, who undoubtedly, as established by this passage alone and reference above, loves everyone, and is unbiased.

These teachings in Gospel’s words, do not mention anywhere that people from different religions are to be hated and only Christians to be loved. Actually, even the word Christians emanate from Christ, and perhaps never Jesus would have meant to have an organised religious institution which is today known as Church, after His name. Are we not the Church in ourselves? Aren’t our mortal bodies the Temple of God which is why Jesus proclaimed the need to be pure and chaste?

There
 are several cases that I see where people from other religions have taken to
Christianity as a faith and are firm believers in Christ, but not necessarily 
converted as mandated by man-made religious requirement. Many ‘non-Christians’ attend
 Church worships but are deprived of the Eucharist, for they are not baptised
 and have not subscribed to other sacraments. I never have come across a single
 instance in the Bible where Jesus has instructed that only baptised or formally
 ordained Christians can have that bread and the wine, symbolic of Christ flesh
and blood, given away for all mankind, and not just for His followers. But, I
 know, just as one religion is not open about inviting other faiths, other 
faiths are also not open to such offerings. But to me, what matters is that all
live harmoniously in unison with their respective faiths, and not fight over 
conversions and other man made religious requirements for different faith 
people to co-exist.

This 
is what the organised institutions of religions have done! Over centuries, religions have been codified to such extent that fundamentals of religions are forgotten. While the religious leaders would preach that it is desirable in God that males may easily convert girls into their religion prior to marriage, their own females marrying out of their own religion boils down to honour killings, families and communities disowning their children and religious institutions ex-communicating them. The more 
the religions are codified, the more rigidity has crept in the practical understanding and functional application of it, and 
insensitivity is instilled in the followers. Anything and everything is
 done in the name of God! There is hatred and enmity. It is as if each human being
is born into the world with a mission to convert people in the name of wining
back the lost souls, irrespective of the willing or unwilling nature of conversion.
 One is perceived by other as unholy and lesser
being. The religious teachers have just played around with the essence and
 great meanings behind the teachings of religions. Nearly everything is determined by religious factors, and apprehensions of 'what they will say'.

God alone can judge who is good or bad.  People have made a mockery out of religion to propagate and perpetuate
their own division theories, in some way or the other, even if it is ensured at
 the gun point. This is a Godless world in a way, all becoming judges of the
good and bad. So, disguised by religion, different versions of the Holy 
teachings are disseminated. Both, ‘perceived’ good and bad are subject to the day
 of final judgement, as even that which is done as good in our own knowledge and intent will stand to be examined and may not turn out to be good in God’s sight.

Hence, 
I feel, religious leaders should relinquish the monoply they have been holding over religions and be open to giving and receiving good teachings and
 thoughts, not meaning that the diversity of religions should be diluted, but Faith
 should prevail, and be placed over religious traditions and rituals. The aim of every 
religion should be on forming good human beings, who know about the eternal and 
unconditional love of God for His children and what He wants us to do for our
 brothers and neighbours, who could be anyone. Religious preachers and followers should live up to the spirit of Religions that it should unite and not divide.


I would like to end with a beautiful parable from the Gospel here, where Jesus tries to explain who a neighbour is, to an expert on Moses' laws who came to test Jesus' orthodoxy. This sums up my quest for understanding holistically what God wants from us, which perhaps is not possible in this world order.

"A Jew going on a trip from Jerusalem to Jericho was attacked by bandits. They stripped him of his clothes and money, and beat him up and left him lying half dead beside the road. "By chance a Jewish priest came along; and when he saw the man lying there, he crossed to the other side of the road and passed him by. A Jewish Temple-assistant walked over and looked at him lying there, but then went on. "But a despised Samaritan came along, and when he saw him, he felt deep pity. Kneeling beside him the Samaritan soothed his wounds with medicine and bandaged them. Then he put the man on his donkey and walked along beside him till they came to an inn, where he nursed him through the night. The next day he handed the innkeeper two twenty-dollar bills and told him to take care of the man. 'If his bill runs higher than that,' he said, 'I'll pay the difference the next time I am here.' "Now which of these three would you say was a neighbour to the bandits' victim?" The man replied, "The one who showed him some pity." Then Jesus said, "Yes, now go and do the same." (TLB, Luke 10:25-37).

Therefore, Bad exist everywhere and in everyone, it is human nature, and should not be affiliated to mean interpretations of Holy Books. For God’s sake, let us live up to what our religion actually stands for and respect human being for what they are, without religious consideration.